The Running Dead: 100 Miles of Hysteria

The Running Dead: 100 Miles of Hysteria

by kirkcoburn
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I have been training for the 2010 Leadville Trail 100 since the 2009 race. I paced a good friend the last 50 miles. Read about my experience here…(if I can find it)

In today’s post, I am sending you last week’s diary of CENTURY WEEK (100 miles of running in 5 days):

Monday – Starting Century Week LATE (I usually start by 4am on Monday mornings)

  • Miles = 19.7
  • Time: Started at 1pm and it was F’ing HOT!
  • Thoughts: Why are the Gold’s Gym staff looking at me funny. Ultra Runners (& posers) are supposed to be SOFT (underneath this blubber is a 6 pack of steel)

Tuesday – Running SUCKS!

  • Miles = 13.4
  • Time: I got up at 2am dammit. I’m already pissed. Started at 3am
  • Thoughts: Why am I so slow? My running friends and coaches are just fast and am I not. After making our first 13.1 mile loop, no, at about mile 8, I was thinking about taking up golf (again). By the time we got back to “the Mother F’ing Rock”, I quit, cried and then went home. I went to the Human Body exhibit at the museum inside of the UT stadium to make myself feel better (feel better than the dead bodies staring back). What the hell is wrong with me?
  • One More Thought: F%#K, I hate this shit.

Wednesday – The FLUKE

  • Miles = 27.3
  • Time: I got up at 2am dammit AND I started to sleep on the couch to not disturb anyone else (and I am not really sleeping anyway out of fear and trepidation).
  • Thoughts: Why am I running with 2 dudes? I hate you David and John. I ran 13 with Jason and Ken and then decided to chase down John, David and Carrie. The next 14 miles were my best miles all week. I was by myself, listening to the Sound of Music Soundtrack (or maybe it was Metallica) and dreaming of getting up and over Hope Pass (the 12,800-ish mountain pass in Leadville). Damn, I needed this run today.

Thursday – THE TV Show is born!

  • Miles = 20
  • Time: This couch thing is bullshit.
  • Thoughts: Trying to think of anything but running, I outlined the newest TV show that will be on CABLE for sure considering the graphic content of the real stories protrayed. It is about a group of late 30′s/early 40′s (Carrie) people who have all come together to escape life and train for an ultra-marathon. Key characters include (identities and “true” stories are being protected…)
    • The Mexi Jew (the ethnic husband and father who lives in the rich in-town circles and is being chased by every middle-aged mother and housewife that swoons for him..he also mows his lawn with no shirt and very small running shorts)
    • The Desperate Housewife (she does not think she is desperate but shit…leaving a hunk of a husband at home to go run and mark the trail with her blood and bowels movements….)
    • The Professor (he wears smoking jackets, he sleeps with his students, he needs a hobby to save his tenure,…he also tracks his weight)
    • The now Social Worker former Ordained Minister (he saves lives…then he laughs later with his running crew about “the ass*&^% who had problems”… he also is the guy who corners fellow runners on the trail when separated from the rest with the questions that no one else wants to or will ask: “when did you know you were a homosexual? From the beginning or was there an event?” guy)
    • The Seriously Straight Guy (he is good looking, he is a good runner, he is witty, he sews his own clothes, he is best friends with many women and serves as a bridesmaid frequently)
    • The Emasculated Male (a suburban drunk, a loving father, a failed husband…when not running, he is a brilliant entrepreneur (in his own mind but average to the rest of the world), he gets arrested for doing stupid things, he seems to find himself making the wrong decisions. Men and women find him super hot. He vomits his problems on the running team only to get the exact same advice on the exact same problems)
    • The other amazing cast of characters include: the trainer and nutrition coach who keeps telling us to run with tires and eat grass, the philosophy doctorate student, the foreign exchange student who speaks but does not understand the modern Texas dialect, and many many more…

Friday – Seriously, Seriously?

  • Miles = 20
  • Time: final day on the leather damn sofa and pulling off my stuck skin
  • Thoughts: As a bunch of drunk kids passed us saying, “its 4:00 fucking AM…what the f&*k?” and then decided to turn around and say, “Seriously? Seriously?”. I came to the intellectual conclusion that that kid was asking the right question. SERIOUSLY? WTF?

Key Takeaway: I would rather run 100 miles in 1 Day (or all at one time), then live through 5 days of 2am wake-ups sleeping on the damn couch!

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1 comment

Leadville 100 Race Report – Looking Back – kirkcoburn February 3, 2016 - 1:49 am

[…] Carrie, John, Paul and a host of other journey seekers (for a description of each character, read Thursday – The TV Show is Born! and that blog shows my psyche in its more guttural form). I say team because my crew and pacer team […]

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